Blesses my Heart
The past two nights I have been unexpectedly blessed by two precious beautiful boys. Anyone who's ever had any experience with any child knows one thing is for sure - you NEVER know what they are going to say. Sometimes they bless us more than anyone else ever could - even as the same words cause a parent to cringe.
Two nights ago, Ed and I went to meet some friends at Sonny's. As I walked to our booth I noticed some of my cousins sitting at the first table we came to. There were three generations of men - one who watched me grow up, one who I used to babysit - who is now a wonderful young man, and the littlest of the crew - the most adorable (soon to be - I think) four year old. As usual the "baby" was putting on a show for the people in the booths around them. I hugged him and spoke and went on to my table.
As I passed them again headed to the salad bar I had a chance to talk to the youngest - Levi. I asked him if I was still his best friend as he and his sister had called me last summer anytime I would play with them. He looked at me like he had NO IDEA who I was but he was still super friendly. He stood up in his chair and turned towards me - almost face to face - did I mention how cute this little guy is? My necklace caught his eye - it's beautiful - silver, shiny, and has a precious blue picture of Baby Owen. He said, "Who's that?" And I replied "Baby Owen." His eyes got real big, and he said, "Baby Owen?" He was saying - I KNOW BABY OWEN. He had this look on his face and I knew he knew exactly who I was talking about. Levi had been present at the sing we had for Owen at First Baptist Church and he sat right behind us - when we brought Owen in he kept looking at him.
Now that we both knew he knew who Owen was he asked, "Where is he?" And I said, "He's in Heaven with God." He said, "He died?" To which I responded, "Yes, he was very, very sick - much sicker than you've ever been." I worry about talking to children about it because I don't want them to think if they get sick they will die - but it didn't phase Levi - talking to him that night about Owen was like talking to an adult about him. He told me he prayed for Owen, and he was still mesmorized by Owen's picture - he kept adjusting it in my necklace. I asked him if he had a picture of Owen to which he said no but his Dad quickly replied that they did. I told Levi I would get him his very own picture of Owen to have. We talked a bit more and his Dad redirected him to his plate (I got the feeling he wanted to change the subject - worried I would get upset). When I got home I messaged Levi's mom and told her how much he had blessed me. How can you help but smile when a child so small is sharing his love for your son and for God?
Then last night I had a photoshoot with a close friend of our family. She had invited myself and my parents to have dinner with them after the photoshoot. I usually don't wear much jewelry when I'm shooting because the glare off of my shiny necklace (with all it's jewels) could reflect into my image and I ran out without putting on my other (less sparkly) necklace of Owen - I almost always have on one or the other.
I did this shoot with the sweetest little brother & sister. Aiden is just six (I think) and his little sister Ashbey is 4. Ashbey was very interested in most of what I was doing from the time I got to her house until the shoot was over. Aiden couldn't care less about what was going on. He was busy hiding in his room. We did the shoot and the most Aiden and I really discussed was me telling him what to do and where to stand. He didn't have a whole lot to say - except to tell us how much he loves Justin Beiber. The shoot went great and he was so ready for it to be over - he retreated back to his room while the rest of us waited and finished preparing dinner.
The kids were in their rooms behaving while the grown-ups (yes me too) ate dinner. We were almost through with dinner when Aiden came up right next to me at the table and out of nowhere said, "Do you miss your baby?" It came out of nowhere but wasn't as shocking to me as I think it was to his mom - I honestly think she could have spit her drink out as he was saying it - but it was fine. Without skipping a beat I said, "yes baby I miss him." He said, "I miss him everyday." My mom chimed in saying, "Yes, everyday we miss him." I asked him if he prayed for Owen and he said he prays for Owen everyday and he misses him everyday. He was walking back towards his room and then he was gone as if it was the most natural thing ever. I smiled and looked at mom - afraid she would crumble but we were both okay and we finished dinner.
After I got home last night I couldn't help but think about what Aiden had said and remember my conversation the night before with Levi. Usually it's the girls who are so much more talkative - but in the past two nights I had profound conversations with two young boys about my son. I couldn't help but think that in some weird way these boys were Owen's tool to say, "Mommy I love you and I think about you too everyday and I'm okay."
And while the tears are pouring now as I put it all in writing - I couldn't help but smile - knowing I will always be connected to him - and I believe so will all of those babies who prayed for him faithfully - like Aiden and Levi.