I cringe every single time I hear, think, or say, "I wish time would stop," or "Why can't time stand still?" Because time did stop for us on March 16, 2011. And it did stand still for us until August 8, when Elizabella was born. I know it's a natural impossibility, the idea of time stopping, but as parents we just want to be able to soak in so much more than we get to, and often our children are changing before our eyes faster than we realize. Those phrases never bothered me before and I still think those thoughts but they carry new meaning for me now.
Today though, I took some time to think about the elusiveness of Time and found this to be true: we can't stop it, we can't know when it will end, we can't get it back when it's gone, and we can't store up more for a rainy day, all we can do is make the absolute most of it. So, looking back over the past (almost five years with Owen,) 2 years today with Elizabella, and 8 months next Saturday with Mattie, I've decided they deserve more of me and I more of them because the two things that will matter most when my time is gone is my walk with Christ and the time I spent with those I loved the most.
So, yes there are a million things I needed to have done before school starts Monday but I couldn't think of one single thing more important than spending today celebrating my children and loving on them and their daddy. Happy Birthday sweet girl. Mommy loves you!
I won't wish for time to stop,
because our hearts all beat with the ticking of the clock.
I can't ask that time stands still,
because I know my love for you never will.
My greatest wish is that it sloooowly fades away,
leaving shared moments we will cherish all our days.
For one day we know that clock will stop beating,
and looking back it's clear that time - she is fleeting.
So today I promise to give you so much more,
for you are the ones my heart so much adores.
And then when this life does come to it's end,
you'll have a thousand ways to say, "Do you remember when . . ."
August 8, 2015
For Edward, Elizabella, and Mattie