Thursday, March 29, 2012

Souvenirs of You

Souvenirs of You
In loving memory of Baby Owen Wesley Ward
September 6, 2010 - March 16, 2011

Safe here in my bubble, protected by God's grace
yet everything around me, reminds me of your face.
My angel here on Earth, in heaven now you reign
and everywhere I look I see your life was not in vain.

Oh my son, I love you so, and surely you must see
even though you got your wings you are still right here with me.
In every breath I've yet to breathe in every tear I'll cry,
in every moment I want to quit but insist instead to try.
In every good deed I've left on this Earth to do,
in everything, with every hope there will be the thought of you.

In every corner of our life, pieces of you remain
and though you're gone, for now at least, these pieces they are staying.

A drawer holds cards from states afar where friends were all in prayer,
your nursery hasn't changed at all - it's still hard to go in there.

In the window where I wash the dishes there's a rose from the spray
that sat upon the treasure box we buried you in that day.

We kept a piece of your prayer cloth, it's in your bible still,
your toys are in the living room, I haven't moved them yet, I'm not sure if I will.

There are pictures of you nearly everywhere you look
and just yesterday in some paperwork I found your favorite book.

I saved the candle from your cake, the teddy bear topper too,
I keep these things sometimes because I don't know what else to do . . .
      there will be so few, new souvenirs of you.

There's a monkey in your crib still - well you remember "Mo,"
one you took with you that day and one we just couldn't let go.

There are arms with no baby to cradle - that's the saddest reminder of all.
   Letters and cards still come in the mail, people still pray and still call.

I wear your photo around my neck almost every single day.
A beautiful precious gift from God, I hope you're remembered that way.

I painted a flower pot last year with some kids who'd lost someone too
it holds a peace lily someone sent, in memory of you.

That windmill still sits outside - it reminds me of your last moments here
and when the wind blows and it rattles, I know you are always near.

Now every September and March, every blue sky and rainbow,
reminds me of my precious son, who I never wanted to let go.

And everytime a tear falls, from your daddy's cheek
and every moment frozen in time when the pain makes us too weak,
is another chance for us to grow and for us to heal,
       a time for us to acknowledge your life was God's will.

I miss you more than there are words - it's a pain you will never have to know,
and because of that I understand, why God felt it was your time to go.

My angel boy I love you - mommy misses you, I do,
      so I hold on to all these souvenirs,
              while our Heavenly Father holds onto you.

With all my love,
Written by: Jerica Elizabeth Ward
March 29, 2012